What Does a Biblical Marriage Look Like?

So, marriage… From the beginning of this blogging journey, I knew I wanted to write about marriage, specifically biblical marriage. With marriage and the family unit breaking down all around us, there’s a need for people who will help couples navigate the mysterious, wonderful, often difficult, sometimes VERY difficult relationship between husbands and wives in a God-glorifying way. Too often people are given the advice that if they’re “not happy” they should call it quits, or told that if they don’t feel “in love” anymore then it wasn’t meant to be.

But when I set out to write my first post on marriage, I couldn’t come up with a single thing to write about. Now, this either means that my marriage is perfect, or that it needs more work than I realized, and, guys, I’ll tell ya – it ain’t perfect. LOL!

So I did what I always do when I’m feeling uninspired…I prayed for divine inspiration. And, like He always does, God came through. And what He told me scared me a little bit, but I’m doing it anyway! I’m catching the courage. 😉

Marriage is one of those places where we definitely need to have courage and strength and energy to make it work for everyone’s benefit. It’s a wonderful beautiful thing, don’t get me wrong, but when you put 2 people together in 1 house to share 1 life, and then throw in things like jobs and kids, things can get, well, complicated. Add to that the lies the devil is telling people about marriage and sex and gender and you have a real mess to sort out, you know?

So, that brings me to the topic of my first marriage post – what is marriage, Biblically speaking, and how does a biblical marriage differ from how the world defines it?

Yeah, I know. It’s a doozie.

Disclaimer

Before I even get started, I want to make some things clear. I understand that this is a really controversial topic. Those who know me personally know that I DO NOT LIKE controversy or conflict or confrontation. However, this blog is called Catching Courage for a reason.

We, as followers of Christ, need to say the hard things in order to bring people back around to God’s way, a.k.a. the best way, of life. There are reasons He gives us the commands and teachings that He gives us, and they all center around us having the best life we can have.

Jesus wants us to have the best life we can have because He loves us. And we want people around us to have the best life they can have because we love them. Click To Tweet

I would also like to say that I am in no way setting out to attack anyone with this post. I know people who live lifestyles that are contrary to what I’m putting out there in this post, and they are nice people. I don’t have anything against them.

I can, in fact, love them like I’m called by God to do while not endorsing the way they choose to live their lives. That’s where I’m coming from as I write this post. It is by no means a hate-post. It is just an informative post by a girl dedicated to sharing God’s love and hope with the world.

That being said, I feel the majority of my readers are probably already followers of Jesus and hopefully already have Biblical views on marriage.

We can't expect non-Christians to have the same views as Christians, as they are of the world and will, therefore, embrace worldly views. Once we accept Jesus into our hearts, however, it is our responsibility to embrace His views… Click To Tweet

Whew, glad that’s over!

Marriage God’s Way

Anyway, you might be surprised to hear that I couldn’t find one single scripture about what marriage is according to God or what it isn’t. Rather, God’s definition of marriage can be compiled by looking at a number of scriptures on Christian marriage. And, unfortunately, the world’s views on marriage are quite obvious and a lot louder than those of God, so I’m sure none of them will surprise you. So, without further ado, here we go…

A Biblical Marriage is For Life

Did you know that swans mate for life? According to this list from Reader’s Digest, so do grey wolves, seahorses, macaroni penguins, and quite a few other animals. Some of them even show signs of affection towards one another. Can I hear a collective, “Awwwww…?”

Turns out, the Bible says that humans are also meant to mate for life. There are quite a few marriage scriptures that emphasize this point.

1 Corinthians 7:10 teaches that, “…A wife must not leave her husband…And the husband must not leave his wife.” What’s more, later in the chapter, verse 39 states, “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives…”

Then there’s the famous marriage Bible verse heard in many a wedding ceremony, “‘…a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Since they are no longer two but one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” Matthew 10:7-9

The Marriage Covenant

Marriage scriptures frequently speak to the covenant relationship between a man and a woman, which is meant to be a reflection of the covenant relationship between Christ and the church. This is evidenced by the following Bible verses comparing marriage to the relationship between Christ and the church.

“For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church.” Ephesians 5:25

“As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.” Ephesians 5:24

In case you were wondering, a covenant is an agreement made between two or more parties specifying how each participating party will and will not act. It is where the traditional marriage vows (in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, etc.) come from. New husbands and wives promise each other that they will stay together no matter what. And it is why and how our love for Jesus and his love for us compels us to do what we do as Christians.

Divorce

There are also a number of scriptures in which Jesus says that divorce for any reason besides infidelity is not ok.

For instance, in Matthew 5:31, Jesus states, “You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’ But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.”

This is because, in the eyes of God, marriage is totally binding for as long as both partners live, not just for as long as both partners agree to be together. This goes back to the idea of covenant marriage again.

In contrast to what the Bible says, it seems that the world would have us believe that marriage is disposable and not worth the effort. Data recently released by the CDC shows that approximately 37% of marriages end in divorce. And the more times a person is married and divorced, the higher the chances of another divorce get.

If you’ve ever experienced divorce, or if you know someone who has, you know that divorce is a costly and emotionally debilitating event to go through. And if children are involved, the cost, financial and emotional, is even higher. These are some of the reasons God wants married couples to stay together. Also worth considering is the personal growth people experience individually and collectively when they stick with something difficult and see it through.

A Biblical Marriage is For One Male and One Female

Social norms have been changing in this area for quite a few years now. It seems that relationships between people of the same gender (or who identify as the same gender) are almost as normal and commonplace now as relationships between people of opposite genders (who identify as opposite genders). And as evidenced by the following Bible verses, this isn’t the first time in history when this has been the case.

However, just because the world sees it as normal, doesn’t mean that it is normal from a Biblical standpoint. Looking at the following scriptures about sex together, we can see that God’s idea of marriage is a union between only a man and a woman.

Proverbs 5:15-17 states, “Drink water from your own well–share love only with your wife. Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone? You should reserve it for yourselves. Never share it with strangers.”

Leviticus 18:22 states, “Do not practice homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman. It is a detestable sin.”

Likewise, Romans 1:26-27 says, “…Even the women turned against the natural way to have sex and instead indulged in sex with each other. And the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burned with lust for each other. Men did shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty they deserved (emphasis added).”

So, to sum up these 3 scriptures, if God tells us that we should only share love with our spouses, and that it is a sin (and not natural) to practice homosexuality, it stands to reason that a God-ordained marriage can only be between a man and a woman.

A Note on Gender

While we’re talking about this facet of biblical marriage, let’s talk a little about gender. Marriage can’t be fully defined if we don’t first clarify some worldly misconceptions in this area.

The world wants us to agree that gender is a relative thing; that it can change based on a person’s feelings or situation. However, the Bible is pretty clear that men were made in the male form, and women were made in the female form. There are reasons for this, but that’s another post. For now, we’ll just look at the scriptures that confirm that God made males and females specifically to be males and females respectively.

Genesis 1:27 – “So God created human beings in His own image. In the image of God He created them; male and female He created them.”

Genesis 5:2 – “He created them male and female, and he blessed them and called them ‘human.'”

Deuteronomy 22:5 – “A woman must not put on men’s clothing, and a man must not wear women’s clothing. Anyone who does this is detestable in the sight of the Lord your God.”

Pretty self-explanatory, I think. But it’s obvious that God wanted men to be males and not act like females and vice versa.

Conclusion

In summary, biblical marriage is meant to be for life and between only one man and one woman. Just as we are bound to Jesus for all eternity once we have asked Him into our hearts and lives, husbands and wives are bound to one another and should act like Christ and the church once they have made covenant vows with one another.

This covenant demands that we follow the teachings of Jesus and God’s Word, which strongly, if implicitly, suggests that just one man and one woman should marry. Furthermore, men were created to be male and women were created to be female, which means that unions between people choosing to live as different genders would be in violation of the covenant.

People, hear my heart here. This isn’t me passing judgment on anybody. This is God’s word, straight up. In an upcoming post, we will explore why God designed marriage to be this way. Until then, let’s all pray for the love of Jesus to pour out of us into everyone around us, whether we agree with the way they live or not.

Love is what changes people's hearts and lives, not judgment or condemnation. Click To Tweet

God judges us all and will do so in His time, so let us all act in a way that is above reproach to the very best of our ability and make Jesus proud!

As difficult as marriage can be sometimes, God does reward our faithfulness! Have you experienced God’s blessing in your marriage? Comment below or head on over to the Catching Courage Community on Facebook and tell the world about how great God is!

Catch ya later,

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